Monday, July 18, 2011



Posted on October 14, 2010 by masterkan

Tickoff: Keptin to ze Breedge. Keptin to ze Breedge.

Captain Jerk: Jerk here. What is it, Mr. Tickoff?

Tickoff: Keptin. Ze Reliant is demandink our imvediate surrender.

Captain Jerk: Where is Lt. Omanura?

Tickoff: Nobody knows, Sir. Valkingk? Shoppingk?

Captain Jerk: Have Mr. Schlock, Dr. Mcgoo and Snotty join me in the Briefing Room immediately.

Tickoff: Ay, Sir.


Captain Jerk: Mr. Schlock, provide us with background.

Mr. Schlock: In the 21st Century the Harrisburg University of Science and Technology’s Savannah Genetic Enhancement Institute created a genetically modified race of Supermen and Superwomen. Apparently, these SuperHumans now have control of the Reliant and threaten to impose professionalism, responsibility, team work, fairness, civility and a work ethic throughout the entire Federation.

Dr. Mcgoo: My God, you pointy-eared chemistry major! These freaks of nature threaten our way of life; all that we stand for! And all you can do is think of your own emotional issues?

Captain Jerk: Snotty, can you create an anonymous blog and run it through the warped engines?

Snotty: It would’no take a miracle, Captain.

Tickoff: Keptin. Keptin Kan-Midnightian stDARR of ze Reliant is again demandink our imvediate surrender and is threatening to board ze wessel.

Captain Jerk: Let it roll through to voicemail. He’ll have to assume we are busy. We’ll reconvene in a week or so and start thinking about what we might have to do. Kan-Midnightian stDARR tasks me. He tasks me!


Captain Jerk: This is the Captain’s log. Stardate … whatever. I am deeply concerned that we have a spy within our little group. Time for another drink. If only I had passed the GRE!


Monday, September 6, 2010

mouse tt5.mou.009 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

The Fir-Tree and the Bramble

A Fir-Tree said boastingly to the Bramble, "You are useful for nothing at all; while I am everywhere used for roofs and houses." The Bramble answered: 'You poor creature, if you would only call to mind the axes and saws which are about to hew you down, you would have reason to wish that you had grown up a Bramble, not a Fir-Tree."

Better poverty without care, than riches with.

The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk

A Mouse who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance formed an intimate acquaintance with a Frog, who lived for the most part in the water. The Frog, one day intent on mischief, bound the foot of the Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog first of all led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they were accustomed to find their food. After this, he gradually led him towards the pool in which he lived, until reaching the very brink, he suddenly jumped in, dragging the Mouse with him. The Frog enjoyed the water amazingly, and swam croaking about, as if he had done a good deed. The unhappy Mouse was soon suffocated by the water, and his dead body floated about on the surface, tied to the foot of the Frog. A Hawk observed it, and, pouncing upon it with his talons, carried it aloft. The Frog, being still fastened to the leg of the Mouse, was also carried off a prisoner, and was eaten by the Hawk.

Harm hatch, harm catch.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Senate 992.sen.006 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

That same year two remarkable crimes were committed at Rome, one by a senator, the other by the daring of a slave. Domitius Balbus, an ex-praetor, from his prolonged old age, his childlessness and his wealth, was exposed to many a plot. His kinsman, Valerius Fabianus, who was marked out for a career of promotion, forged a will in his name with Vinicius Rufinus and Terentius Lentinus, Roman knights, for his accomplices. These men had associated with them Antonius Primus and Asinius Marcellus. Antonius was a man of ready audacity; Marcellus had the glory of being the great-grandson of Asinius Pollio, and bore a character far from contemptible, except that he thought poverty the greatest of all evils. So Fabianus, with the persons whom I have named and some others less distinguished, executed the will. The crime was proved against them before the Senate, and Fabianus and Antonius with Rufinus and Terentius were condemned under the Cornelian law. Marcellus was saved from punishment rather than from disgrace by the memory of his ancestors and the intercessions of the emperor.

That same day was fatal also to Pompeius Aelianus, a young ex-quaestor, suspected of complicity in the villanies of Fabianus. He was outlawed from Italy, and from Spain, where he was born. Valerius Pontius suffered the same degradation for having indicted the defendants before the praetor to save them from being prosecuted in the court of the city-prefect, purposing meanwhile to defeat justice on some legal pretext and subsequently by collusion. A clause was added to the Senate's decree, that whoever bought or sold such a service was to be just as liable to punishment as if he had been publicly convicted of false accusation.

Monday, July 12, 2010

forth 228.for.003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

And he rose up from the judgement-seat and sought to go forth. And the Jews cried out, saying: We know our king, even Caesar and not Jesus. For indeed the wise men brought gifts from the east unto him as unto a king, and when Herod heard from the wise men that a king was born, he sought to slay him, and when his father Joseph knew that, he took him and his mother and they fled into Egypt. And when Herod heard it he destroyed the children of the Hebrews that were born in Bethlehem.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

interested Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

Here is a passage from Bulgakov's Diary from 1925 (it was confiscated by the secret police in a raid on Bulgakov's apartment):

5 Jan, 1925

Today I went specially to the editorial office of Bezbozhnik [Godless]. It is located in Kozmodemyanovsky Lane, not far from the Mossovet building. I was with MS and he charmed me from the outset.

'Don't your windows get smashed?' he asked the first young lady sitting at a desk.

'What do you mean?' (Perplexed).

'No, they don't' (Hostile).

'What a pity.'

I wanted to kiss him on his Jewish nose. They did not have a full set of the journal for 1923. With pride they announced that they were all sold out. I managed to get 11 issues for 1924. The twelfth has not come out yet. The young lady (if she can so be called) who gave me them, did so reluctantly when she discoverd that I was a private individual.

'I'd rather give them to library.'

It turns out that 70,000 copies of each number are printed, and that all copies are sold . Some indescribable dregs work there, and more come in and go out; there is a small stage with curtains and sets. a holy book of some sort, maybe a Bible lies on a table on the stage. Two heads were bent over this book.

'Like in the synagogue,' said M as we left.

'I'd be interested to know how far this was said specially for me. Of course one ought not to exaggerate, but I have the impression that several people who have read The White Guard now talk to me differently, with a kind of timid, oblique respect.


In the evening when I leafed through the issues of Bezbozhnik I was shaken. Not by the blasphemy, of course it knows no limits, but it is only an external feature. The heart of the matter lies in the idea, which can be proved with reference to actual documents: Jesus Christ is depicted as a swindler and a scoundrel: the attack is directed at him. It is not hard to see whose work this is. This is a crime like no other.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

impressed 33.imp.003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

1. Most impressed with: As you have repeatedly mentioned in your writings, Mr. Good has a great depth of knowledge. To date, he has more knowledge of UFOolgy than anyone else I’ve heard speak. From more details about Aztec than I was aware to his awareness of a Hawaiian crash in 1944 to the “Mussolini X-File” he is incredibly knowledgeable.

2. What information was I not aware of: Atypically, many of the cases he discusses were new to me. From Sir Peter Hawkley to the Hawaiian crash to the Mussolini X-File to Eugenia Siragusa to underwater bases (in the Mediterranean, the Pacific, and elsewhere) to human-looking aliens to as many as 50 races visiting Earth to the notion that the abductions/hybridizations are more for them than us to there exists a “bad guy” in our Galactic neighborhood.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

swimming 229.swi.003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

The late Florence Chadwick, a native San Diegan, was born to the water. At the age of ten, after six years of swimming defeats, she won spectacularly! Competing against senior swimmers in a two-and-a-half-mile night "rough water swim", she finished in fourth place. At eleven she won her first race in a six mile rough water swim in San Diego. Victory was all she needed. She continued to race for nineteen years throughout the United States.

Turning professional in 1945, she joined former teammate, Esther Williams and appeared in the movie, "Bathing Beauty".

In 1948 she began her training to swim the English Channel. Two years later she became the first woman to swim that body of water both ways.

While working as a stockbroker in San Diego, she was the only woman on the Board of the San Diego "Hall of Champions" Board. Her devotion to youth groups and encouragement to young people to fulfill their dreams, heralds her as a true champion.